You Know What I Don't Get? - Part 4

Pantiless celebrities. There's been a lot in the tabloids lately about Britney with no panties, and Lindsay with no panties, and Paris with no panties as they come and go from clubs and parties.

A few things need to be dispensed with right away:

1) I really don't find this sexy. I'm sure some folks do, but for me, this generates that feeling I get when I see an episode of Cops; and a drunk, pantless guy is getting arrested. His Mr. Happy is mercifully blurred out, and it's a sad experience for all involved. This guy is at the nadir of his life, I'm watching it happen, and he signed the release so his lowest ebb could be aired on television. But I digress.

2) I don't care if they're promiscuous or not. Have fun, as long as you're playing safe.

3) I make fun of them, but I don't think most celebrities are dumber than anybody else. I don't think I would've made a lot of sense to anyone either if the media started following and recording every move I made when I was nineteen or so. Not to mention becoming insanely wealthy overnight.

I suppose the easiest answer is, "hey - they were young and drunk - underwear isn't really a priority with you're plastered". Well, okay. But these folks get their picture taken a LOT. Going to the supermarket. Working out. Buying new clothes. Whatever. So if you're climbing in and out of sports cars in a dress sans panties, you can pretty much bet the farm that your privates are going to show up in the papers - and be all over the internet - very, very quickly.

It's also a pretty good bet that you're going to see those pictures at some point (or someone's going to show them to you, or tell you about them). It follows that you're going to react in two ways: you're mortified, or you don't care. If you're mortified, you're going to make capitol-S-sure that it doesn't happen again. At least, that it won't happen again when you've stopped being moritified and are able to go somewhere with cameras.

If you don't care, you're going to keep on keeping on, and it probably will happen again - maybe several more times. Now I would think that after the third time or so, a kind of cumulative effect would start to creep in, and some sort of embarrassment would begin to develop. You'd start looking in the mirror and seeing 'the pantless Cops guy', or you'd start to feel that other people see you that way. So either way, I don't get how it keeps happening.

Anyway, there's enough of this going on right now that you'd think that famous people would learn from one another (or at least their publicist), and cancel appearances if they're, uh, not up to it. I guess the combination of alcohol and fame can be pretty damaging.