Sunday, April 30, 2006

Going The Distance

American Dreamz, written, produced and directed by Paul Wietz.

There are many shades of comedy, from the cheerful hues of The Great Race to the bold vaudeville patterns of Duck Soup, to the dark satirical shades of The Loved One. It's a tricky job to determine the tone of a comedy, and just as important as the success of the jokes themselves. Such is the case with American Dreamz, the latest Paul Weitz comedy. It seems to be reaching for the satirical sharpness of Network or To Die For, but the overall tone is so gentle it throws the dark subject matter into bold, awkward relief.

Dreamz contains four sub-plots. The first involves President Staton (Dennis Quaid), a Bush-like statesman who is having a crisis after his latest election victory. He realizes he knows nothing about the nation, and is scrambling to to view things beyond his staff's carfeully filtered briefings. His approval ratings have plummeted, and rumors abound of a nervous breakdown. The solution? Have the president guest judge the highest-rated television show ever - the Idol-like American Dreamz.

We're then introduced to Martin Tweed (Hugh Grant), the Simon-Cowell-style host of the program. He's being dumped by his current paramour, and is feeling bored, a prisoner of the show's success. To keep himself interested, he makes increasingly bizarre contestant choices.

This involves Omer (Sam Golzari), an inept Iraqi terrorist whose secret passion is show tunes, driving his fellow extremists to distraction. He's soon 're-assigned' to stay with his relatives in California as a sleeper cell, awaiting orders that will (presumably) never come. Omer meets his gay cousin Iqbal (Tony Yalda), who has applied to become a Dreamz contestant. Things get complicated, though, when Omer's good-naturedness gets him chosen over Iqbal.

Dreamz's talent search also discovers Sally Kendoo (Mandy Moore), a calculating manipulator determined to win the show at any cost. She too has just dumped her steadfast boyfriend William Williams (Chris Klein) - she is repelled by his kind heart - and he responds by enlisting in the army. Tweed finds a kindred spirit in Sally, or at least a worthy adversary - he's never met anyone more self-centered than he is. Naturally, she's a shoe-in for the show. When William returns from Iraq wounded, her agent encourages her to fake renewing the romance to boost her vote count.

Since the president is now to be a guest judge, and Omer a contestant, the terrorist leaders order Omer to spearhead an assassination attempt. Iqbal begins managing him, and Omer's popularity is a direct threat to Sally's victory. Naturally, everything races together on a collision course.

Most of this isn't very believable, even on comedic terms. It's never convincing that Quaid's president would allow himself to get into this situation. It's also tough to buy that Omer would be chosen over Iqbal, as Iqbal is more entertaning simply standing around talking than Omer is singing (Yalda's performance is one of the most consistently entertaining in the film). Additionally, Omer is too conflicted from the beginning to be very vivid as a performer or a terrorist. Sally is pushed to new heights of ambition by her agent, but this role hardly seems necessary considering her new love interest (and her own nature seems too knowing).

It's also odd that we begin the film with the president in a position of strength (having won the election). It would seem like there'd be a lot more opportunity for suspense (and satire) by setting the story in the beginning of the re-election campaign and the latest season of Dreamz, and have the film take place over that year. The plot would then culminate in the election and the finalists' showdown. The film as it stands has little tension - we know only a couple of the contestants can have a chance to win, or there's no story.

This premise intrinsically involves the corruptive powers of fame, coupled with a terrorist assination of the President on national television. This is pretty dark stuff, but the film never seems to want to move beyond the tone of a light cartoonish farce. As a result, most of the jokes fall uncomfortably flat. Quaid is miscast - he seems far too handsome, intelligent and confident to portray a buffoonish proxy growing dissatisfied with his own powerlessness. Dafoe's Cheney never seems that nasty, either - he's simply doing what needs to be done to put this guy across to the public. The Kendoo/Tweed romance isn't a bad set-up, but their mutual wickedness doesn't focus into something darkly compelling. Instead, it simply curdles into two despicable people who probably deserve each other.

Considering how crowd-pleasing the film wants to be, it takes a big risk by making the entire cast caught up in the struggle for fame and power. It's fine to make all of your main characters corruptible, but the script doesn't have the courage of its convictions, and there's no innocent secondary characters for contrast. Even William gets sucked into the fame/power whirlpool, but it's never clear why, or even appropriate. The film could use William better as a moral center, unwittingly duped by Sally, who'd been sleeping with Tweed all along. This would make for a stronger betrayal in the last third, and better justify his desperate actions as a result. Iqbal, had he been the contestant, could have simply been blinded by ambition, manipulated by the terrorists until the last minute.

The film seems to want to portray this greed for fame and power as destructive, but only two characters truly reap the whirlwind. If you want to show everyone as greedy and manipulative - and make a comedic morality tale - the script needed to take it to its logical conclusion and destroy almost all of them. Sally, unstoppable and indestructible (perhaps like Reese Witherspoon's Tracy Flick in Election, a truly sublime dark comedy), would have made the perfect survivor. Unfortunately, American Dreamz hedges its bets, wins some battles, but loses the war.

Toy Suggestion 14: Quiet, Please!

Here's two great depictions of the classic cartoon premise: Keeping the violent character asleep! Terrific poses (as usual), as well as the opportunity to immortalize Butch the bulldog in PVC!

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Toy Suggestion 13: Flirty Birdy

What '40s cartoon toy line would be complete without a cross-dressing gag? It's certainly true that large birds can eat mice -- so why does this eagle-like character seem so arbitrary? And why am I even thinking about that kind of logic, in light of the fact that all the animals are behaving like people?

Friday, April 28, 2006

Toy Suggestion 12: Launching The S.S. Drip

This still is from (I think) The Mouse Comes To Dinner. It too had a camera move in it, but I think I fused it together more successfully this time. It's still got great poses and expressions, as well as plenty of props!

Several of the shorts featured Jerry as a 'romantic' rival for Tom's girlfriends - I never exactly understood that. I guess Jerry liked taking away anything that Tom wanted, regardless of whether or not Jerry himself desired it.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Toy Suggestion 11: Trap Happy

Here's the quintessential Tom & Jerry scene - sorry about the wonky Photoshop paste-up - I had to piece this together from a pan. Still, I think this is what people think of when they think of these cartoons. It'd make a great toy -- look how strong the attitudes are in this still!

Afterworks 2 Press Release - Longer Version

From here:

BERKELEY, CA -- 26 April, 2006 -- What do you get when the top names in the animation industry find some time after working their day jobs to express their creative passion for comics? Image Comics is proud to present an amazing anthology debuting this July - AFTERWORKS 2. Following in the footsteps of other recent Image anthologies, such as FLIGHT and PUT THE BOOK BACK ON THE SHELF, AFTERWORKS 2 brings an eclectic mix of artists and stories together in to one collection.

The original AFTERWORKS GN was a self-published black & white anthology by E-Ville Press, a collective of artists based in Emeryville, CA (home of Pixar Animation Studios). E-Ville Press is comprised of Mark Andrews, Max Brace, Simon Dunsdon, Louis Gonzales, Robert Kondo, Ted Mathot, Kevin O'Brien, Sanjay Patel and Nathan Stanton, and between them, these nine animators have worked on some of the top-grossing movies of the last decade, including The Incredibles, Star Wars: Episodes I-III, Monsters Inc, Ice Age, Toy Story, Iron Giant, Finding Nemo and too many more to list!

"I don't know of anybody who isn't a fan of of the many movies these fine fellows have worked on at Pixar," said Image Comics Publisher Erik Larsen. "Having the opportunity to publish an anthology by the creative geniuses behind all these beloved films is a thrill and a half. If you're a fan of their films you'll FLIP over their comics."

Image Comics is bringing the original AFTERWORKS GN (FEB068060) back in to print this June, just in time for the debut of the AFTERWORKS 2 GN.

Nathan Stanton (Monsters Inc.) explains the genesis of AFTERWORKS: "Just last year I sat with fellow workers here at Pixar, lamenting the fact that we did not have enough creative outlets outside of the walls here, and soon AFTERWORKS was born; a collective anthology of seven talented folks here who all, like myself, needed creativity outside of the workplace and now we've found it."

"AFTERWORKS 2 will hit the shelves, this time in full color and with a whole new group of folks who, as we'd hoped, were inspired by the first one and wanted to join in," continued Stanton. "It's bigger, better, and full of 100% unadulterated creativity; every story completely different from the next! Anyone new to the AFTERWORKS world, come on in, the waters' just fine....."

AFTERWORKS 2 GN will be a 200-page full-color anthology, and feature not only new tales from a majority of the E-Ville Press crew, but many brand new faces. This includes creators such as Scott Morse (Noble Boy, Soulwind), Bill Presing (Rex Steele: Nazi Smasher), Brian Larsen (Samurai Jack), Derek Thompson (Star Wars: Episode III), Peter Sohn (The Incredibles) and many more.

Contained within are stories too personal to be told in any other medium than comics, stories that touch a nerve and charm the soul. From fact based accounts of Falluja missile strikes to reinterpretations of classic myth, from Tokyo excursions to flights of fantasy, from brawlers to the Devil to hopelessly romantic musicians, AFTERWORKS 2 is untainted storytelling that will be pulled off your shelf and reread time and again.

"The talented people that have banded together for AFTERWORKS 2 are producing work that is truly amazing," says Ted Mathot (The Incredibles). "I'm really excited and proud to be amongst such an incredible group of storytellers. The book really runs the gamut of emotions; funny, sad, dramatic, touching, creepy, sarcastic, poignant... and the artwork is just as varied. It's going to be one heck of a collection!"

AFTERWORKS 2 GN is available for order in the July Previews catalog, and the AFTERWORKS 1 GN (FEB068060) is available for pre-order right now and will be in-stores on June 14th.

Toy Suggestion 10: Texas Tom


Since there's nine Flintstones ideas already, I thought I'd switch over to Tom & Jerry for a little while. Here's a terrific scene that would really take advantange of a sculpt, as this situation was never shown in a wide shot. The drawings are great - the height of the classic Tom & Jerry look - and there's plenty of other stills that show Tom's whole outfit. It'd make a great radio or music box, too!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

More Labyrinth and Dark Crystal Swag On The Way

More fuel for the Henson cult this year from Plan-B Toys! Photos courtesy of figures.com.

Why I Love eBay

I just won this. Mmmm...Flintstones...

WaNu Drinks

Some childhood friends have started a beverage business in Vermont! Check out (and order) their products here.

Afterworks 2 Announced By Image!

Check it out here! We're in between the robot chick and the naked ant chick. Enjoy!

Now Available From DC Direct/Your Local Comic Shop

Series One of the Looney Tunes Golden Collection figures. You can re-create scenes from What's Opera Doc? or The Scarlet Pumpernickel. $14.95 for each character!

Coming up next: Baseball Bugs and Scrambled Aches! Cool!


Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Yummy, Yummy Crap

Here's an archive of comic-book TV show theme songs. More cheese, please!

Journey To The Disney Vault

Some funny stuff, though it's a bit old hat for anyone who's gone to CalArts. Still, it's amazing that this got on network TV! I think SNL (or Robert Smigel) is going to be meeting some Disney lawyers soon, too...

Wrong Again

I was talking to Scott Morse (who is very prolific) yesterday, bemoaning the fact that it's hard for me to come up with stories. Lo and behold, I came up with an idea for another short comic story while driving home from work.

What a great way to be wrong!

Monday, April 24, 2006

DONE!!

I'm done with my Afterworks 2 short story!! It's all handed in.
Thank goodness! What a load off my chest.

Secret Wars Re-Enactment Society

If you laughed at this, congratulations! You're a big comics nerd.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Two Panels Left To Clean Up

Thank goodness for Google image search! I needed reference BAD.

ONE -- PAGE -- LEFT --

That last one was a bear! I realize now I don't draw bicycles all that well, and it takes me forever to do it right. It was critical to the story, so I had to grit my teeth and get on with it.

Stuff I've Wanted Since 1977, Part 1

A Stormtrooper helmet! Cool! I know Don Post's made these for years, but this one looks better. You can get one at Entertainment Earth for $59.99 + shipping.

Toy Suggestion 9: Baby Puss & Fred

These images are covered with text, but you get the idea - Baby Puss putting Fred out for the night! You could do this pairing as a figure set, or make a pair of bookends - one with Fred putting Baby Puss out, the other vice versa.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Two Pages Left!

And a day and a night to do them! Almost there...

Toy Suggestion 8: Ann Margrock

Here's a neat set-up, complete with her car and manager. Looking at the way she's seated, it seems like you could sculpt a removeable figure that would fit in the car without having to cheat much. Awesome!

Friday, April 21, 2006

Iron Man Teaser Poster

I found this here:

I'm assuming that this is real, though the last time I heard about this project, it didn't have a director or a script. From the looks of things, a lot of it is still in flux.

It's puzzling to me, though, why these superhero projects always seems to gravitate towards directors who've had no experience with effects-heavy genre films.

PS - This is definitely old news. Check out the release date.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

From Margaret Andres

Assistant Editor Needed For Sundance Project

A friend at work is organizing a Summer Filmmaker's Lab in Sundance from May 27th-June 24th.

It is one month in Utah at the Sundance Resort working on segments of 8 films. This is a unique opportunity to work with some amazing actors, directors, and crews from around the country. Here is a link to the program. http://institute.sundance.org/jsps/site.jsp?resource=pag_ex_support_volunteering_slvol&sk=IzwU5kAfUfaLcV1t

All expenses are taken care of by the Sundance Institute. If you are interested or might know someone who would be interested, call Trevor Cable at 503-235-2459, or email him at trevorc@laika.com.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Charming, Bizarre Lottery Spot

It's made by the good people at Studio AKA. Enjoy!

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Opening Panel For Fetch

I think this new page turned out pretty well, so I thought you might like to see another small sample.

Ha Ha Ha America

An interesting film from Jon Daniel Ligon about China's growing political and economic influence.

Cool Short Film

Iain Anderson's Airport is animated entirely with international travel graphics! Nice music and use of color. The only thing I wanted to see was the "Fasten Seat Belts" light come on when the plane lands.

Thanks yet again to Boing Boing!

Toy Suggestion 7 : Spring Cleaning Wilma

Another set-up immortalized by "Weird Al" Yankovic in his song Bedrock Anthem.

GOT A BABY ELEPHANT VACUUM CLEANER!

While this figure looks like it could support itself, I would definitely want a stand with it. In fact, my plea to toy makers everywhere - remember "always be closing" from Glengarry Glen Ross? - would be to "always include stand". Ideally, that stand should have at least two pegs to attach it to the figure. People who've bought the DC Direct Batman: Hush figures know exactly what I'm talking about.

If the figure stands by itself - great! You can use the stand for another figure. But if it doesn't, and the figure doesn't have a stand? I'm a lot more likely to just get rid of it. And that means I'll be a lot less likely to buy more of that line.

Fortunately, McFarlane's really great about that. It's just a pet peeve of mine.

Happy Easter From Jeff & Anita!

Best wishes to all of you who observe today.

Jon Becomes More And More Disoriented

I wonder if his family monitors him to keep him from getting into trouble.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Little By Little, It Sinks In

Jon's just beginning to realize that Garfield will never, ever answer him.

Toy Suggestion 6 : BBQ Barney

Here's a good character/prop set - this would be great as a warm-up for a Flintstone house playset later on.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Speaking Of Scooters

Here's an interesting Lambretta spot on YouTube. I'm assuming this is a faux-retro ad, but it's really, really convincing!

Toy Suggestion 5: At The Drive-In

Here's another classic set-up. I'll bet people who've never even seen the show would know this one! Plus you get the Flintmobile, which if it rolled, would make this set well-nigh irresistible!

Goings-On In South Park

On the one hand, South Park won a Peabody Award. On the other hand, a recent two-part storyline provoked Comedy Central to censor an episode.

Hybrid Scooter Prototypes From Vespa

Cool! Check 'em out here. Thanks to RetroThing and Boing Boing.

Toy Suggestion 4: Joe Rockhead

Chase Figure - Used to designate figures made in smaller numbers than the regular figures and inserted randomly into cases. Literally, collectors must "chase" after these figures because of the limited number produced.

Joe Rockhead, Fred and Barney's buddy who never looked the same from episode to episode, would make a terrific chase figure. Short-packed characters drive me crazy, but this guy'd be worth the torment.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

New CI Boys Toys

Can you guess the pop-culture identities of these toys? Bonus nerd points if you can! And of course we all want bonus nerd points. Buy 'em now at Kid Robot.

Nice CD Packaging

The remastered re-issue of My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts, by Brian Eno + David Byrne. Unfortunately, the text area is a sticker that comes off with the wrapping. It's so well integrated into the outer sleeve art that I was almost sorry to see it go.

Of course, the music is great too, but since this post basically says "I bought it twice", I figured you'd connect the dots.

My Film Reviews Now On Amazon

If you've missed any of them over the last eight months, you can read them here.

The House Work Continues

The bathroom walls and floor are getting filled with insulation and closed up. Soon, it'll be time for tiling. We're expanding the driveway, too! On the left are our contractors, Ed and Wayne, who are just as ready for this be done as we are!

Toy Suggestion 3: Fred Goes Hollywood

Sorry - Hollyrock. Here's another nice potential set-up from the Monster From The Tar Pits episode. Fred in costume, with the director and star Cary Granite standing by. Lots of cool props and accessories to make, too!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

C For Cookie

That's good enough for me. Check it out.

The Archives Are Back!

Thanks yet again to the magical Ms. Kate!

Keep Trying, Jon

Maybe 'someday', Garfield will answer.

Toy Suggestion 2: Fred And Dino

Here's a nice simple set-up from the show that everybody knows. You could include Wilma standing bemusedly to the side to flesh out the situation.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Jon's Sleepwalking Through Life

Counting down the days until the abyss.

DC In The Sixties

Someone at DC went insane about that time and just decided to give EVERYTHING super-powers. How else to explain this? I'll bet you thought Streaky was just a lapse of judgement in the new Krypto cartoon. Nope! Streaky goes pretty far back.

I wonder if it was the same guy who decided to give Batman one of every mode of transportation on earth. Bat-Train? Sure. Bat-Gyro? Why not? That Batcave must've been pretty full. It already had all those giant pennies and typewriters and stuff.

The only thing as odd as DC in the '60s is Marvel in the '70s. Son Of Satan? The Defenders? Blech.

Thanks to Stupid Comics for the image.

Feedback Wanted

This is for all the folks who have bought items from my PidgeonStuff store. I've noticed that I haven't got a lot of repeat business (regardless of how many new products I add), so I was curious to see if there's anything I can do to make the merchandise better. Or does it just cost too much? Let me know!

PS - If you think another site (say, Zazzle) provides a similar but better service, let me know that, too!

Toy Suggestion 1: The Flintstone Flyer

I had heard a rumor somewhere that this was going to be part of the McFarlane toy line, and it's still a great idea. Here's a picture of the whole vehicle:

Here's a great flying pose with Fred and Barney:

There's a vehicle that's on the show, and it involves two of the main characters! Specific enough to freak out the Flintstone nerds, but still neat for everyone else.

Sculpting it would be a snap for the McFarlane crew, but if they got stuck, they could check out the figures made for View-Master scenes forty years ago - they're not spot-on model, but they're really charming.

The kicker? I'd happily pay $40 for this toy if it was on the shelves!

Monday, April 10, 2006

In Contrast To The McFarlane Stuff

Here's a still of a terrific Quick Draw McGraw lamp. If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say this is based on a Ken Melton sculpt and a Craig Kellman drawing. Even though it doesn't look like the old show, it's a great take on that style.

Cool Orson Welles Drawing

...courtesy of Gary Taxali.

McFarlane's Latest Toys

First there were the new Simpsons figures, which were nicely made, but really aren't that compelling if you've bought into the Playmates line. Now there's the upcoming Hanna-Barbera figures, which I've been waiting to see through wave after wave of sports and military toys. And the results aren't encouraging.

To give you an idea, this is one of the better ones. This is the best image of the sculpts, so as you can see, the concept of "a sculpt should look good from as many angles as possible" isn't really happening here. The poses feel awkward, even in this staging.

This is the best of the lot, but even here, the staging and proportions seem off. The guitar seems pretty big compared to the characters, and the figures all seem small and distant from one another.

This isn't bad, but it seems cluttered and a bit generic. There's tons of Tom & Jerry cartoons (not to mention a lot of the other H&B cartoons) on DVD now - isn't there a clearer, funnier tableau that you could lift right from a screen-grab? Plus, the characters look like they were sculpted from merchandising guides, not from the cartoons themselves, which were drawn a lot better.

Another arbitrary situation, and designs straight from the '80s.

Now things start to get weird. Here's Fred in a situation he was never in on the show. It reminds me a lot more of the trend-chasing '80s merchandise (where they dressed Fred up in do-rags and such) than the TV show. That's also carried over to the Fred sculpt, which doesn't look like the great '60s design.

What the heck's going on here?! If I want a "Big Daddy" Roth toy, I'll go buy one. I want a Flintstones toy! FLINTSTONES!!

I expected a lot better from McFarlane, so I'm not sure what the story is with this line. With all the visual reference available these days, there's just no excuse for these mediocre-looking toys. Maybe series two will be better, if there is one. Really, really disappointing.

Not Really A Caricature

I do drawings of people from time to time, but they're more stylized than caricatured. Here's one of Jill Culton, circa late-'90s.

Darth Vader Vs. Japanese Cops

The result may surprise you.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

The Weed Of Injecting Gorillas With Secret Serum Bears The Bitter Fruit Of Dismemberment

Samples of hilariously awful comics. Experience them here. Page five is particularly amazing.

Thanks again to boingboing!

Pretty Damn Funny

From here:

NIHILIST JOB RÉSUMÉ.
BY ERIC FEEZELL

David, Candice, whatever
EndlessMurk512@aol.com
This Abject World
(555) 555-5555


Objective

I have no objective. What's the point when cold death is the final destination for us all? Can you explain that to me? I know I'm supposed to put something here, though, so here goes: Your objective is to hire me into a challenging position in a computer-applications-based field within which you feel I can "make a difference" and "contribute" in a team environment.

Imbecile.


Education

Bachelor of "Science" in Computer Applications, University of Washington

B.S., all right. It tickles me greatly that vapid, hornswoggled employers place so much emphasis on scholastic aptitude and higher education, as if knowing the Pythagorean theorem could shield me from the stygian pointlessness of mortality or the lurid abyss of imminent nonexistence. Of course, I use the word "tickles" figuratively, since I feel absolutely nothing.


Skills

Skills are valueless and only serve temporarily to bolster the trembling egos of the sheeple of this wretched world. I eschew all so-called personal development, instead dying under the premise that, when I'm a biodegrading mess of worm feed hopelessly buried beneath a fathom of dark earth, being able to type 70 words a minute really won't do me a modicum of what you so ignorantly refer to as "good."

Microsoft Excel, PowerPoint, Access; UNIX; Lotus 1, 2, 3.


Work Experience

Lead Sales Representative, Howard Brothers Trucking Co. (June 2003 to present)

As the leading sales representative at Howard Brothers, I implemented a new invoicing database lauded by my maudlin, foolhardy management team as "wonderfully efficient and surprisingly self-explanatory." Why any of this mattered, I don't know or care.

As far as being a "leader" goes, I wasn't leading anyone or anything. Death is the great leveler, leading us all. Or not. Again, who cares, really?

Sales Clerk, Hot Topic (January 2001 to June 2003)

Employee of the month 29 consecutive times.


Interests

It pains me (again, being loose with the language here) to think that one could be so ridiculous as to maintain any sort of attachment to this-worldly tangibles, concepts, or other such contemptible ephemera. I'll admit I play tennis, although I don't keep score and insist that when my deluded partner does he use the terms "zero" or "nothingness" instead of "love," a superfluous notion.

I also read a bit of Baudelaire, for what it's worth, which is nothing.


Honors/Awards

Mankind, in its self-congratulatory revelry, will finally come to realize that all forms of kudos simply blind us from the solitary incontrovertible truth: life is a hollow shell of nil.

Once, during my younger days, in an ultimately nugatory proclamation (is there any other kind?) of my desensitized attitude toward accolades and gifts, I coined the phrase "He who dies with the most toys ... still dies." A bumper-sticker company then offered me a large sum of money for the rights to this phrase. I told them to keep it and give it to someone or something that mattered, which I guess was my way of making a joke (back before I realized how asinine and fruitless such a thing was).


References

This section seems a bit silly. But not like ha-ha silly. I mean ineffectual, obviously.

- - - -

A big "Thanks!" to boingboing for introducing me to this!

Revenge Of...The Star Wars Kid.

Quebec teen Ghyslain Raza (and his parents) recently cut a deal with the schoolmates who, by posting a video, transformed him into a worldwide mockery on the internet. Read more about it here.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

But As Usual

The date goes nowhere. Jon's not even back at square one. He's smack-dab in comics purgatory.

Friday, April 07, 2006

A Brief Moment Of Joy

Anything to break the roaring silence.

Speaking Of Sex In Video Games

Here's a still of The Nurses, from the upcoming Silent Hill movie. I don't know if these characters are from the game or not, but I do think it's funny that no matter how worm-faced hideous or scary the creators want these characters to be, they're still (pardon my French) encouraging you to want to fuck them. To me, that's the weirdest part of the whole thing.

Thanks to I Watch Stuff! for the still.

The New Laura Croft For Tomb Raider: Legend

From here:

For the next game? Call Angelina Jolie. Get permission to use her image. Bite the bullet and pay her the money. Get it over with! That's kinda where you're going anyway.

It's Sinking In

Decades wasted talking to his cat have left Jon with nothing.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

A Little Blackmail Never Hurts

With Garfield sitting quietly in the driver's seat. This one actually reminds me a little of the "older, funnier ones". Garfield looks chubby for a change, and the original button for this strip was, "All in good time".

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Now, Now, Mr. Hart...

Born-again cavemen. Gotta love it!

Charlotte's Web Comes To The Big Screen (Again)

I know everyone in the world loved Babe, but all I could think about after seeing it was, "Charlotte's Web is what I really want to see." Well, the hi-tech version (and deservedly so, for a change) is on the way at last, but unfortunately it looks like it's going to be loaded with stunt casting, fart gags, anachronistic slang, and catchphrases. Sigh.

Stupid Shrek.

More Happy Trees!

From mtv.com:
Video Game Based On Bob Ross' 'Joy Of Painting' In The Works

In his heyday, the latest pop-culture icon to get a video game didn't rap or play professional sports. He painted happy trees and happy little clouds.

Late last week, in what initially appeared to be an April Fools' Day joke, video game developer AGFRAG Entertainment announced that it is developing video games based on the paintings of the late TV artist Bob Ross.

The beloved painter became famous more than 20 years ago for his mellow instructional art show "The Joy of Painting." And now he's set to become a video game icon.

"I grew up watching Bob Ross on PBS and was always in awe of how quickly and smoothly he made these beautiful paintings, which helped inspire my creativity," said AGFRAG founder Joseph Hatcher in a statement on the official Bob Ross Web site. "There are generations that know Bob Ross and his painting techniques, and I want to share his talent with future generations in a new medium."

Hatcher told MTV News that he came up with the idea three or four months ago. "I saw some of the Nintendo Revolution controller demo movies, and I just put two and two together," he said.

The Revolution's gyroscopic, remote-control-shaped controller (see "First Look: Nintendo Revolution Controller Feels Smooth As Puppet Strings") will allow players to play Bob Ross games as if they were wielding an actual paintbrush. Hatcher is also developing a Bob Ross game for the Nintendo DS, which allows for painterly, stylus-driven touch-screen control.

Hatcher's AGFRAG Entertainment has been around since 1996 and has toyed with ideas like a six-player computerized version of chess. But the developer told MTV News that any of his old ideas are now on hold.

From 1983 until 1994, the soft-spoken Ross hosted "The Joy of Painting," which featured the artist crafting a completed landscape on canvas in just half an hour. Peppering his instructional commentary with gentle encouragement to his audience, he became an unlikely star. "We don't make mistakes here, we just have happy accidents," he'd say.

The public-television art teacher even wound up painting MTV's logo in a commercial for the channel. He died of cancer in 1995.

No release date has been set for the Bob Ross games, which are still without a publisher.

For those wondering about that most essential element of Ross' palette — his voice — Hatcher says he intends to get it into the game. "We have full rights to all of the transcripts, all of the audio archives, all of the paintings," he said. "We like his mellow voice, and it will be very cool to allow fans to paint with him."

Hatcher encourages Bob Ross fans to submit ideas for what they'd like to see in the game to the developer's message board: http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/bobrossgame/.

— Stephen Totilo

As We Always Knew He Would

... Jon starts to lose it. Maybe he's killed Garfield already.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Pre-production Art For Underdog

From here:

Real-Life Video Game Jangles Nerves In Ohio

From here:

Girls attempt real-life version of video game

Residents alarmed; teens could be charged
Beacon Journal staff report

Five teenage girls from Portage County face potential criminal charges after attempting to play a real-life version of Super Mario Bros.

The Portage County Hazardous Materials Unit and Bomb Detection Unit were called in to downtown Ravenna on Friday morning after seventeen suspicious packages -- boxes wrapped in gold wrapping paper with question marks spray painted on them -- had alarmed residents.

Boxes were found at the Immaculate Conception Church on West Main Street, the Portage County Courthouse, Deluxe Pastries, the corner of Cherry Way and Main Street, Reed Memorial Library, Ravenna High School and a residence at Sanford and Main streets.

Five girls -- age 16 and 17 -- claimed responsibility for making and placing the packages. The girls said they found an Internet site that included step-by-step instructions for creating replicas of blocks featured in the game.

The Ravenna Police Department will be working with the Portage County Prosecutor's Office regarding possible criminal charges as a result of the game.



On the one hand, I can see abondoning packages anonymously is probably a bad idea. On the other hand - Super Mario power-up boxes? I'd be expecting the Riddler more than Al-Qaeda.

Jon States The Obvious

Monday, April 03, 2006

Two New Swazzle Shows On The Way!

Rex & Boots: Super Sleuths and B.A.R.K. The Robot Dog are taking bookings now! For story summaries, booking info and local show dates, check the listings at Swazzle.com!

June 11th - A Lettie Schubert Memorial Tribute

A Memorial Tribute to Lettie Connell Schubert -- A Celebration of Her Life
Friends and family of Lettie are all welcome.

Sunday, June 11, 2006 3:00 to 8:30 p.m. (set-up is 2:00 to 3:00)

Golden Gate Room Building A Fort Mason Center (This is the same place the Guild had its 40th Anniversary Celebration)

Members of the SFBAPG and its allies are preparing a wonderful celebration of Lettie's life!

Lewis Mahlmann and Randal Metz will perform the puppet production "Mrs. Witherspoon's Busy Day" with Lettie's recorded voice as Mrs. Witherspoon. The show was written and designed by Lettie and she started performing it in 1963. Thirty eight years later, in 2001, Lettie oversaw the revival of the show for Children's Fairyland.

Lynne Jennings is enlisting her high-tech enlarging equipment to create a Memorial Wall featuring photos, written stories and
thoughts. The Wall will travel to this summer's puppet festivals in Washington and Missouri, as well as the 2007 national festival in Minnesota.

Luman Coad is scouring his collection of past Puppetry Journals to capture more information on Lettie's career as a puppeteer.

Alan Cook is writing about Lettie's life as a puppeteer and has been passing information to the Los Angeles Guild and various newspapers. The L.A. Times interviewed Alan today. Several members of the Los Angeles Guild will be traveling north to attend the Celebration.

Lee Armstrong (Images in Motion) is preparing a big-screen video montage which will incorporate video excerpts of Lettie's life, including her 70th birthday party; an interview of Lettie done by Anita Coulter and Sam Hale; and Lettie's work on the 1950s "Brother Buzz" TV show.

The foundation that sponsored the "Brother Buzz" show has promised to supply video footage featuring Brother Buzz and Miss Busy Bee, puppeteered by Ralph Chesse and Lettie Connell.

An employee at the Oakland Parks and Rec Department has dug up a veritable gold mine of slides depicting the Vagabond Puppeteers which Lettie directed for several years.

There will be an open mike time for us to tell our stories, and there will be wonderful food, generously provided by Lettie's husband, Gage Schubert.

Each SF Guild member is kindly requested to bring A DESSERT PLATE which will feed at least 10 people.

**********

Would you like to be part of the Memorial Wall? If you have written thoughts or stories of Lettie's life, please contact Mary Decker: marydeck@earthlink.net

Do you have any quality photos? Please contact Lynne Jennings: LynneJenn@aol.com

Cool, Man

Here's a new wrinkle - ignoring the kits, and just making the boxes. You can pre-order them (and more!) for $25.00 + shipping each at Monsters In Motion. I'd buy a painting from these guys, but an empty box is a little much, even for me!

One Of My Favorite Bart Pictures

We had just moved into the house, and Bart took full advantage!

Two Trailers

You can see the joke coming, but at last, The Simpsons Movie has a teaser and a release date. The Clerks 2 trailer looks pretty good, with Kevin Smith back in his Askew-niverse where he seems the most at home. Plus, you gotta give a guy "props" for putting a card like this in his trailer:

Awesome.

Home-Town Newspaper Comic, 1981

From a November issue of The Enterprise and Vermonter. This is why I don't post much artwork drawn before 1983. Yikes! I didn't know how to draw for newspaper reproduction, so some of this was beefed up (and the dialogue re-lettered) by the staff artist. I also had the devil reading Faust, but it was blacked out for some reason. It's the age-old question of "How does that make it less objectionable?"

Lettie Schubert Obit From SFGate

Sunday, April 2, 2006 (SF Chronicle)
Lettie Connell Schubert -- pre-eminent puppeteer
Jim Doyle, Chronicle Staff Writer

Lettie Connell Schubert, who grew up in a San Francisco theater during the Depression and rose to become a well-known figure in American puppetry, has died at age 77.

The fabled puppeteer died of liver failure on March 21 at her Mill Valley home. She had been fighting cancer for six months.

Friends and family recalled Mrs. Schubert's playfulness and exuberance, dazzling smile and oversize glasses. They spoke of her inspiration and warmth. They told stories about her puppets, including a hilarious German dog.

"She was a force of major importance," Alan Cook, curator of the Conservatory of Puppetry Arts in Pasadena, wrote in an e-mail. "I call her a catalyst. Her contributions to the field were wide ranging locally and even internationally. Her own performance talents were among the best, but she also encouraged many other talents."

Mrs. Schubert was a third-generation San Franciscan whose love of puppetry began when she was a child. She began performing regularly during junior high school.

She worked with the puppet master Ralph Chessé, handling marionettes on a long-running Bay Area television show called "Brother Buzz," and playing a character called Miss Busy Bee. She also worked on other live TV shows
during the 1950s, including "Willie & the Baron" and "The Looking Glass Lady."

She directed Oakland's Vagabond Puppet Theater, which visited Oakland public parks and playgrounds during the summer. Her various assistants included Robert Edward Darling and Dahl Delu. She worked closely with Jerry Juhl, who later went on to become a puppeteer and script writer for the Muppets.

Mrs. Schubert was a founding member of the San Francisco Bay Area Puppeteers Guild and directed the first regional puppet festival in San Francisco in 1960. She also organized a national puppet festival in Asilomar (Monterey County) and other events in the Los Angeles area.

She had leadership roles in local, regional, national (Puppeteers of America) and international (UNIMA -- Union Internationale de la Marionnette) puppetry organizations for many years.

She lived for years on Green Street in San Francisco and plied her trade everywhere, hosting puppet shows in local department stores and at library exhibits. She made dolls for craft fairs, and once sold pictorial rubber stamps with puppet themes.

In the 1960s, she staged informal puppet shows in the display window of a portrait shop on upper Grant Avenue called "Happy Things," delighting tourists and passers-by. The shop was operated by puppeteer and children's author Wolo, which was short for his real name, Wolf George Anton Erhardt Trutzschler von Falkenstein.

Lettie Schubert met her future husband, Gage, at the shop. They took over the business until its closing a few years later and later owned Schubert's Toy Square on Union Street.

"She was one of the sweetest people anyone would ever meet. She listened to people," Gage Schubert said. "She was fascinated by puppet activity as a child because her father and mother had a theater on Macondray Lane on Russian Hill during the Depression. She grew up in that basement theater environment. ... She went from that background as an only child into puppetry theater."

In 1968, Mrs. Schubert moved with her family to Mill Valley. She was involved with the Mill Valley Fall Arts Festival for 30 years with her husband. She also exhibited her paper and cloth figures for the Artisans Gallery.

In 1974, Mrs. Schubert self-published a booklet titled "Hand Puppet Manipulation" in which she tried to teach novices the craft of bringing puppets to life.

Mrs. Schubert traveled extensively and was an avid collector of art and puppetry. She was also a member of the British Puppet & Model Theatre Guild and conducted a workshop there.

"Lettie has been a wonderful friend to many puppeteers on this side of the Atlantic; she made numerous visits to the U.K. -- popping up in all sorts of places," wrote British puppeteer Ray DaSilva in a memoriam posted on the Web site of Puppeteers UK.

In addition to her husband, Mrs. Schubert is survived by a son, David Schubert, of Concord, Mass., and a daughter, Rebecca Smith, of Novato. She also is survived by two grandchildren.

A gathering of Mrs. Schubert's friends and well-wishers is planned for June 11 from 3 to 9 p.m. at the Golden Gate Room at the Fort Mason Center.

Donations may be made to the Puppeteers of America or the American Cancer Society.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Copyright 2006 SF Chronicle

Jon Attracts More Rejection

If anything, his life is more inert than when the strip began. He was originally described as a cartoonist, but to my knowlege, he's never been depicted at the drawing board. Maybe Jon is actually Mike Brady's son - he seems to have an equally cryptic relationship with his career.

Barbie's First Live Show

Barbie's now the star of Barbie Live in Fairytopia, a two-year travelling show planned for eighty cities. Read more about it here.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Rat Fink Statue On The Way

If you're impatient like me, you've probably always been a little annoyed at model kits. Sure, they're neat and cheap, but you need the fabrication skills of an ILM miniature builder to make them look they way that you really want (i.e, like they look on the box, or better). And -- after all that time and energy -- you have this incredibly fragile object to show for it.

So that's why it's cool to hear that this great looking Rat Fink statue is on the way! All the great sculpting of a model kit, with none of the hassle. Pre-order yours today (for $130 + shipping) at Toy Tokyo!

You Know What I Don't Get? - Part IV

Live-action adaptations of animated cartoons. This was interesting (in an odd, miscalculated sort of way) for a while, but now it's just really annoying. Plus - like video game adaptations - I'm not sure that there's ever been a single one that's been any good. Popeye? The Flintstones? Scooby-Doo? George of the Jungle? The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle? Dudley Do-Right? Fat Albert? Boris and Natasha? It's becoming a pretty long list.

And there's more on the way - Disney's developing a live-action version of Underdog, with Peter Dinklage as Simon Barsinister. Doubtless Underdog himself will be some sort of CG creation. Will they go the Garfield route, and try to make him look like a 'real' dog, or will they go the Rocky and Bullwinkle route and bury stylized computer models under a mountain of digital tone mattes?

Look, I know (according to Hollywood) I'm just an old fart now, and I should just get out of the way and let the kids plonk down their ten bucks for whatever they want, but the best things about the original show - what made it memorable in the first place - was its take on Underdog as an oblivious, far-too-powerful superhero (which I think went away pretty quickly as it evolved more into a 'straight' adventure show), good voice characterizations, and charming design work. Oh, yeah - and the theme song.

None of that will be taken advantage of in the new film anyway - even the song will probably be re-performed by Devo 2.0 or whoever's just been signed to the record division. Some upcoming (read: affordable) tween actress will probably be stuck into it, and the whole thing'll turn into her winning some singing contest that Simon's somehow trying to use to take over the world. If he were smart, Simon would just be her manager, ride out her fifteen minutes, and buy that secret volcano base he's always wanted with all that tween-fan cash. Or just maybe he should stay in management and make more money than he would have as a supervillain in the first place.

This isn't meant to slam Disney - this is an industry-wide thing. I just want to see a big-screen version of a cartoon character that's well-written, drawn, and animated. That's all. Okay?



PS - Underdog is being directed by the man who brought us Quest For Camelot and Racing Stripes. Uh oh.

Office Move

I'm changing offices at work, so my WACOM tablet (far superior to mine at home) is out of commission for the weekend. I've been doing all of my comic clean-up on it, so I'm a little nervous about losing an entire weekend out of my schedule. April 24th (the deadline) is coming up fast! Eek!

Stop Talking To Your Cat, Jon

But there's just no one else. Most of the other secondary characters seem to have disappeared years ago. Remember Lyman?

The Learning Channel's Life Lessons Collection

Check these out - a neat twist on those Hummel/Hallmark figurines. Some are better than others, but if you're clever, you can improve the captions (and customize the figures a bit, too). Sadly, you can only e-mail the images around, and not buy real figurines. I imagine if the campaign does really well, that won't be far behind.

Addendum: I stand corrected! You can buy five of the figurines (for $14.95 + shipping each) at the online Discovery Store.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Dear Santa

There's a walking, remote-control version of Gigantor available from robot makers at the Vstone Corporation. All it costs is $2980 USD. And I bet they sell every damn one of them!

Thanks for nothing, Cartoon Brew and Engadget! Sniff.

It's A Bird! It's A Plan!

It's Letterman! Check out Michael Sporn's blog, where he talks about working on these nifty shorts for The Electric Company. What a pedigree this project had!

A big thanks to Jerry Beck and Cartoon Brew for the tip-off!

Jon Sinks Deeper Into Delusion

...while Garfield tries to swat him awake.
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